one year ago

may 31, 2008; the last time i saw r. behind the natural history museum, we had a conversation she probably expected was final (dawning on dej: "it's not a good sign that you were with me thursday night, and now it's saturday and you're thinking about someone else..." r, with scrunched-up little wry cute face: "no, it's not.") but was just the beginning of a long playout for me. i wouldn't let her leave me in the subway (perhaps remembering d. in '01), so we kissed goodbye (but not like that makes it sound) at north 7th. i bought the inaugural disappointmental pack of newports, walked down bedford past the jewish babies hanging out in window boxes, and made it as far as flushing ave. before catching the bus to see m. and then that started. (and now it's over too.)